I mentioned in my last entry the pursuit of conversation with someone other than the local barista, who lets face it, had zero interest in my observations of the strange groups forming in his café, for all I know he probably promulgated this odd environment. I had therefore been researching volunteer opportunities so that I could contribute my time and valued skills to my new-found community and perhaps enter into conversation with someone who didn’t think I was complete loon with too much time on her hands.
Now, I’ll be honest, my aim in volunteering was not altruistic but completely self-serving. I had harbored fantasies of myself (looking tall and thin), waltzing into some salubrious arts establishment; naturally, they would fall in-love with my ease, charm and let’s not forget the accent. My obvious talents would render me irreplaceable and once my work permit came through they simply couldn’t risk losing me and a job would be offered.
I was of course delusional. And in all fairness to me, if I had taken in the scores of depressing tales covering those affected by the world’s worst recession and the fact that I was now living in America’s fourth poorest state, I might have slipped into a pit of despair, leading to days in bed, growing increasingly rank, and we don’t really want that.
I could barely admit it but I missed work, the challenges, even the hideous commute, that odorous, sardine like experience that made me feel alive and lets not forget those water cooler moments. The odd thing is I never used to watch much tele and now I find myself engrossed in the lives of Real New York Housewives and the Kardashian sisters which is probably a little unhealthy. Happily though, I found myself a nice little situation at a local museum. Apparently the Director was rather impressed with my resume. After only a few calls I was already an “impressive” addition to an organization and hell, why wouldn’t I be. Clearly, I didn’t want them to feel threatened by my brilliance so I took an understated approach informing them “I was available for any tasks required. Being new to the community, I just want to get a feel of the place and meet people – you know”.
Day one; I was a little disappointed after being introduced to the staff, who, obviously hadn’t been briefed about my arrival and who really didn’t seem to care. I was then ushered to the lower gallery reception area - where I was to spend the day – alone – at the front desk. Now, I don’t want to appear above my station, but I had paid a premium for parking and this was not a place for my talents to shine or more to the point for me to converse and make friends. I sat down in the cold open space. I noted the echoing sounds that resulted from my thumbing through the attendance book and it became apparent that this place wasn’t frequented as often as I was hoping. I’d gone from Nigel-no-mates in the mountains to Nigel-no-mates in the museum without the Ben Stiller excitement of dioramas coming to life. Not only that, I had to ask to leave in order to use the facilities! This was not what I had signed up for and quite frankly I couldn’t believe that these people didn’t have a better use of my FREE time. I needed an in into that office space, I needed exposure, being isolated like this didn’t give these people the privilege of getting to know me let alone abuse my skills.
I quickly devised a speech that would delicately point out how they might like to employ my time for their greater benefit, along with proposing a few projects they might like to let me explore. Thanks to my diplomatic ways, I was now promoted to work in the office on ‘existing projects’. I was overjoyed, however; this was to be short lived as I was shuffled into a room to complete an urgent data-entry task. Sure, I could use the loo when I wanted and the office was a warmer temperature than the eerie grey reception area but couldn’t someone else do this. I was letting my ego get the better of me and decided I would enter data to the best of my ability before making my impact and planning my next move.
The thought occurred to me that perhaps my suggestions were not welcome. Who did I think I was proposing all these improvements. Well, initially, I thought I was pretty good but in fact, I was blindly creating headaches for those on the pay roll and when I reversed the situation I realized how annoying I truly was. I was that irritating upstart from the city who knew better. I had to get over myself, therefore; I worked solidly throughout the morning to prove my can-do attitude. It was midday before I lifted my head to an eerie silence. I explored the office. I was alone and not only that, they’d locked me inside. Paranoia struck and that was followed by a pang of sadness and then sheer loneliness. Did they forget about me or did they choose to ignore me. I found my way out, taking my battered ego and my packed lunch to the cold quadrangle outside the museum.
As I chewed on my vegemite sandwich, I spotted the gang from the office laughing and walking towards me. Oh god do they see me? Is that why they’re laughing? It was too late for me to make a break for it and hide so I remained stead fast on the cold concrete bench. And apparently I’m not only irritating but also invisible; they walked right by without so much as a glance.
There I sat, alone, invisible and almost broken. I cleared the lump from my throat and pulled myself together, returning to the office with adult attitude in check. These things take time. Perhaps I had been too eager or maybe I was too subtle, whatever the reason I was ready to tackle this head-on. As I walked in with a confident smile on my face I was ready for some small-talk, surely one of them needed an update on Kim K’s relationship status with Reggie? Apparently not, no instead it was more crucial that I collect some stationery from the office supply store. Are you kidding! I decided that my ego and the parking meter needed a break. It occurred to me that I wasn’t in Kansas anymore, well actually maybe I was. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to keep up this charade. It was back to warmth of the fireplace and the couch for more thorough planning and a good dose of reality TV. I have one life and I’m not going waste it.
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